Friday, September 20, 2013
Brazenly Loving is Scary
Be brave. Love what you love brazenly.
My sister was recently up for a promotion at work. It was actually more of a lateral move, from customer service to the wine department but she likes wine a lot more than customer service, so it felt like a promotion. God, she wanted the job. Talking about it filled her with energy and fire and ambition. This is an area where she could really thrive. The thing was, she wasn't totally qualified for the job. She had the interest and passion and some knowledge but was by no means overly equipped for the position.
Everyone at her work and in her personal life knew she was applying for the job. Daily questions built pressure. Every ones interest became a burden. Support started to become suffocating because, yes, she wanted the job. Badly. And she knew eventually she could be incredible at the job in time, but as she was now, exactly at the moment, she wasn't really ready for the job.
We all have been there. Looking at the next step we want to take. The next adventure, accomplishment or change is obvious. We finally know what we want after an agonizing period of confusion or limbo. The perfect job shows up. Someone you could truly love appears out of no where. Inspiration strikes. Life is good until, suddenly, we realize that we aren't qualified enough, smart enough, strong enough, whatever enough to truly take it on. This is when fear, doubt, REALITY sets in and our love starts to shrink. We start telling ourselves that we are being dumb. We are about to make a huge fool out of ourselves. The impulse to deny the love, want and desire shows up swiftly and fiercely. Don't act like you've never felt this way and I won't lie to you by saying I never have.
I'll one up you and own up to the fact that everything I've ever done that I've been proud of has been preceded by this feeling of doubt and shame.
My sister aced half of the interview and bombed the other half. She had put herself out there so fully. Everyone knew how bad she wanted the job. I knew. The people she supervises at work knew. The entire management of her work knew. She had put it out there, by God, big time. While she was doing it, I was shocked an inspired. She wanted it and she was telling the world. I believed in her. I knew she would be incredible at this job. I was sure both because of how familiar I am with her innate and developed skill set but also because I saw how much love and passion was set ablaze in her by the idea of this job. There was a God-force behind her.
She didn't get the job. She knew after the interview that she wouldn't. She had really blown it. Like really. She did great on half and just horrible on the rest.
But, she got half the job. What? How? The people who interviewed her saw her passion and drive and even though they knew that she wasn't fully ready at this time to take on the whole job, they are giving her most of the responsibilities and the next 6 months to get fully trained and prepared to take on the whole job.
That is the power of showing what you love. So often we squelch our love because we feel undeserving or unready. We are afraid of failing and the embarrassment that will inevitably follow. This is such a huge mistake. No one is ready. Ever. You have to get in over your head to get ahead. Be brave. Please, I need the inspiration. We all do. It's so hard to get over all that fear and doubt. It's painful to realize the truth of our immediate limitations but it's the only way to get past them.
Congratulations Melissa. You are an inspiration.