Turns out, most dudes have lost a toe nail, and to them, it's no big deal. Every guy who saw the bruised toenail would say, "oh, you're gonna lose that." I would pout and say, "but it's going to be sandal season! I'm disgusting." The guys would just scoff and move on. Looking back, the only disgusting thing about the situation is that I would spend time crying over lost toenails. The other toenail just fell off. I'll miss it. It was big and beautiful and really looked good hot pink but it'll be back. In the mean time, I should probably do some badass volunteer work (note to self: find charity. Being this self-involved is not badass.) After all, some little underprivileged girls can't even afford nail polish for the nails they have.
OOOOOOHHHHH! Maybe I could give underprivileged girls manicures? Start my own charity. That's badass. I'll be looking for volunteers. People, just because we've lost toenails, that doesn't mean we don't still have a lot to give.